i am finally going on a holiday March 19, 2008

I am very thankful. Prior to booking my air ticket, I remember jumping at the chance, and then caught and asked myself if I should because of the short window of time. I’d think that a holiday requires more consideration than mine. I’ll be staying with my cousin who’s there on a business trip. So, I’m free to roam the streets of Shanghai in the day. After buying my air ticket online, I felt much poorer considering a round-trip to Shanghai on SQ is a good $1063. But in an odd but not strange way, I felt happy. I am finally going on a holiday, and I am finally doing it on myself. Besides doing this on my own the first time in my live, it’s not just trying to prove my independence but it is also the solitude I enjoy. I have always enjoyed my solitudary. Haha… after so many years of being inmysolitude, this time I am really going to be on my own. 是一种兴奋，也是一种期待。有时候，我觉得我能独处的时间不多了。一旦交往，结婚，生活不再一个人过。就让我过完我想要体会的生活吧。因为这都是人生里不同凡响但又丰富的体验。我想要我的人生是多种色彩，千姿百态。我要是一个有故事的人。所以，这是现在的季节。一个人游览，一个人生活，一个人探索世界，也一个人坚强。 This is the season I am in. To experience all that I want to, all the opportunities that may have passed me by in the my younger days, Lord, I ask of you to multiply them back to me. Until this season of wanting solitude and having experienced it passes, I know You are faithful to bring all that I’ve lost back to me. And only until I’ve experienced, then would I know that living life is to be shared with someone else. 到那时候，生命又是新的开始。我也不再孤独。

I have been doing my homework almost nightly and am getting really excited about touring the streets myself. This time, I am going there with my excitement and the protection, wisdom and favour of the Lord. How thankful and grateful I am, to know that the blessings of the Lord is not limited to my location. Blessed am I in the city and in the country! My only complaint now is getting tired of reading pinyin! One is totally clueless as to pronouncing the words correctly. It is quite fun to do the homework and discovery at home.

I really can’t wait. And tomorrow, I am going in to the office a new me. A “me” that has been transformed after beholding the faithfulness of God. I just trust in the Lord with all my heart, leaning not on my understanding and He will make my path straight because it always shines brighter and brighter unto the perfect day. I’d rather excel and stand before Kings. I’d rather have the hand of God to exalt me, so I’d rather submit to this mighty Hand of God. He is supernatural.

because He lives March 18, 2008

Because God is my God of tomorrows, I can have hope for today.

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow
Because He lives, All fear is gone
Because I know, I know He holds my future
And life is worth the living just because He lives

Hallelujah! :)

how excellent Your name is March 16, 2008

We sang this song on the Server’s Night, and it kinda got stuck in my head. I really love the old worship songs. It is simple but carries with a weighty and profound message.

O Lord our Lord
How excellent Your name is
How excellent Your name in all the earth
Your glory fills the heaven
Beyond the farthest star
How excellent Your name in all the earth

When i think about the heavens
The moons and all the stars
I wonder what You ever saw in me
But You took em and you loved me
And You’ve given me a crown
And now i’ll praise Your name eternally

I took home with me a consciousness of living a life of honor.

I will sleep on this to get a further revelation on its definitive meaning.

To live a life of honor and glory, just like how Jesus lived on earth, takes the Saviour, not me.

I am really tired and I need a rest.. March 11, 2008

Lord, I am tired. and I seem to want a holiday. How long can I last? how long am I supposed to go on? The marathon is bringing into perspective its definitive meaning. Father, I am really tired. I don’t know what I desire, what I want. I dream of big dreams, I dream of big careers and big plans. How do I bridge the now and then? Am I worrying because I am not really resting in His righteousness and faithfulness?

I don’t know how much further can I go having to be bossed around on alternate hours, and having to clear up messes that I didn’t make.
No one knows about it, no one cares that something has been done. My work does not include cc.ing the entire world.
Lord, You are my only refuge and hideout. Lord, I really feel like hiding away until the storm has calmed.

But for now, I need a rest. 24 hours a day is not enough for sleep, work, gym, reflections, tv. there is scant any time left over.

I really want a holiday, but I have no money to pay for it. Lord, please provide me with a holiday. And I am now thanking You in faith that my holiday has been provided for. I just want to take a long plane ride.

Just to be up there, in the silence, in the darkness.

what do I value? Filler piece March 10, 2008

I really want to write in here… but it seems like I’m always short of time.

Will having a wi-fi phone help me? But the HTC touch dual has no wifi. boo.

The question posed to me: What do I value the most?

Maybe after some pondering and praying and living, I really am able to find my answer.

i love my jazz March 7, 2008

I really almost forgot, how much I love the jazz in the night. Tonight, is the first night, after since my aircon broke down, that I am enjoying my night. Doing my QT, surfing youtube, listening to “My One and Only Love”, feeling the cool breeze, despite my heavy head due to the lack of rest for the past weeks.

His Word will never return void. So when I speak and believe God’s Word over my life, it will accomplish and prosper in the thing which the Word was sent to.

The Lord, my God, my Yah Weh, will never put me to shame. I want to be living for His glory, wanting my life to reflect His grace and faithfulness.

In my career, not knowing what I want to do, seems to be worse off than having to look for a job. Because there is no clear direction and no clear signal. I will wait on Him then. I really want to place my complete trust in Him that if I spend my time just praying in tongues, there will come illumination for the situation I am in, come an answer for the question I am asking. Lord, I just want this assurance before plunging all my emotions right in. However, I also know that we walk by faith, not be sight, and this faith comes by hearing only the Word of Christ. So then, I decide that I’ll just keep on hearing and keep on fanning the Spirit. There is then no more need to fight with others for human favour, because the Lord of All favours me. People just want to do things for me and they don’t understand why.

Do the small things like they’re big, and do the big things like they’re small.

 yes… words of wisdom

Back to “My One and Only Love”… would I rather sing it to the man I love, or would I rather he sing it to me? hehe… let me dream about it then. I want to see his eyes crinkle when he smiles. A calm composure when he leads or speaks. The hesed and lovingkindness when he looks at me. My one and only love.